Can't Hide Forever
by OozlumBird
Summary: After the prank where Snape finds Lupin as a werewolf, he doesn't keep quiet about what he's seen. M for language.
1. Chapter 1

Remus woke up slowly, the black behind his eyelids fading to a grey blur. It seemed brighter than was usual on mornings like this one. He lay for a moment with his eyes shut, and became aware of the sound of voices in the next room. It meant something important, that there were people, but he couldn't think what. His head felt full of cotton. He tried to think back, remembered vaguely anger and frustration, prey stolen from him. Human…he'd smelled human, much stronger than the usual taunting scent that always lingered from his entrance to the shack. A brief jolt of panic shot through him, but he tamped it down – he had to think first, figure out what had happened. He was gradually becoming aware of the pain, soreness everywhere, a brilliant sharpness in his arm and a stinging on his forehead. An interesting complement to his growing headache.

Headaches meant escape attempts, running at the walls. The cut on his forehead would be from the same. The arm…gnawing maybe. It had happened before. His mouth was full of a familiar metallic taste, which supported that hypothesis. Unless…but he couldn't face that possibility. He remembered the wolf's frustration so strongly, so the person must have gotten away, they must have. But what if he'd bitten them first, what if they knew who he was, and if they'd found him how could they not. Oh god what if it was Sirius or James, not transformed for some reason and what if I bit them what if I've killed Sirius, he's never understood how dangerous the wolf is… Panicking again. Stop, finish evaluating. Then maybe you can panic.

There was something that was different. What was the thing that was different? Voices, lights are too bright – he wasn't in the Shack. Hospital wing? It must be the hospital wing. Which meant he hadn't woken up right away, so he must be rather badly injured.

Eyes. Could he open his eyes? His eyelids felt crusted over, but he managed to get through. He squinted up at the ceiling of, yes, the hospital wing. A moment later a voice from next to him sent pain lancing through his head.

"Remus! Remus, you're awake, fucking god, I'm sorry Remus." Sirius practically shouted.

Remus tried to respond, "Too loud", but all that came out was a croak. He screwed up his eyes, hoping that would get the message across.

Sirius was still going. "…that git, I should have known he'd be such an idiot, I wish you _had_ bit him, fucking bastard, I'll…"

"Right, I let you stay until he woke up, now get out so I can treat my patient", Madame Pomfrey's sharp voice cut in.

Sirius' voice got even louder in protest, but he inevitably lost the battle. A moment later, Remus felt a hand on the top of his head.

"Glad to see you awake, dear" said Madame Pomfrey. "You had me worried for a while there. You've lost a lot of blood. I'm going to lift your head up now and get you some water, alright?"

The pounding in his head increased again as he moved, but after the water his throat felt a thousand times better. "What happened?" he managed to rasp out.

"Your injuries are worse than usual. Your left arm's been torn up pretty badly, but I'll have it fixed up soon."

"Person. Remember…person…"

Madame Pomfrey paused, and with a slight catch in her voice said, "You didn't hurt anyone. Don't worry about the rest until you're more recovered. I'm going to give you a Blood-Replenishing potion now, and then a sleeping draught so I can fix up that arm."

Relief flooded through Remus at the news that no one else was hurt. But clearly something bad had happened – had he been exposed? He knew from long experience that he would get nothing else out of Madame Pomfrey, so he obediently took his potions and faded back into blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

When he woke again, the room was silent except for a distant shuffling sound. Every muscle ached, but aside from a muffled throbbing in his arm he now felt no worse than usual after a transformation. Remus opened his eyes and gingerly nudged himself upright with his good arm.

Almost immediately, the door to the hospital wing cracked open and Peter edged in. The shuffling noise had stopped – it must have been Peter pacing. James often got peeved at Peter's habit of never really lifting his feet when he walked.

Peter paused for a moment, standing uncertainly in the late afternoon sunlight filtering through the window of the hospital wing, then walked over and sat on the bed next to Remus', leaning forward with his elbows resting on his legs.

"I'm really glad you're awake again," he said. "I guess it was a bad one?"

Remus made a small neutral motion with his head.

Peter continued: "Madame Pomfrey wouldn't let us in while you were sleeping, mostly because Sirius wouldn't settle down. We've been waiting outside in shifts. I should go get the others now."

"Wait," Remus rasped. Peter passed him the glass of water Madame Pomfrey had left by his bed. Remus drank deeply, and continued. "Something bad happened last night. I think…someone got in? I'd rather hear what happened first."

Peter winced, and Remus felt instantly guilty. But Peter was more likely to be able to get it out coherently than Sirius or James, given the way Sirius had been earlier.

"Well…" said Peter. "I guess Sirius and Snape were going at it again last night, and…and Sirius decided it would be funny to try and get Snape beat up by the Willow. Because Snape had been asking where you went all the time, and so Sirius told him if he wanted to find out he should go poke the knot on the Whomping Willow."

"HE WHAT?" Remus tried to bellow. It came out as more of a croak.

Peter hesitated, reluctant to criticize his idol. "I guess he thought Snape wouldn't actually be able to do it." He paused again, and Remus felt his rage die away as quickly as it had come, to be replaced by a strange hollowness.

"Sorry", said Remus. "Did he then? Get in?"

Peter nodded. "He got into the tunnel. And— and James went after him and pulled him out but –" his voice dropped nearly to a whisper – "but he saw the wolf first. And I'd gone to get McGonagall and she got Dumbledore and we all went to his office and Snape too but-"

"Did I bite Snape?"

"No! You didn't bite anyone. But- right after Snape and James got out, before Dumbledore could talk to him, Snape ran back to his room and woke everyone up and well…he told them what had happened."

Remus wondered, later, if he should have been angry, or nervous, or hopeful that maybe people wouldn't react as badly as they had in all his childhood nightmares. But he felt only a dull sense of descending fate, the hammer finally falling as he'd always known it would, as Peter said "And I guess they told more people in the morning. Uh…a lot of people were talking about it today."

"So they know what I am?" Remus asked.

Peter nodded miserably.

"I'm expelled then?"

"I- I don't know. Dumbledore doesn't want you to be, he was saying all these things to Snape about how you had as much right to be here as anyone else. He was really angry too, that Snape had told – it was scary. Oh! He wants to talk to you. Dumbledore, I mean. He stopped by earlier while you were asleep, I heard him telling Madame Pomfrey."

"Where is Madame Pomfrey?" It was unusual for her not to be around when he was here.

"She left a little while ago – someone came to get her for their friend who got jinxed." Peter's eyes widened. "Bugger, I hope it wasn't Sirius. He kept picking fights when I was with him earlier."

"Would you mind getting Sirius and James?" Remus asked. "I should talk to them too." The guilty thought came that Sirius was maybe the last person he wanted to see right now. Right on its heels was the old worry that they wouldn't want to see him either, that he shouldn't be subjecting his friends to something like him, that they'd been faking tolerance the whole time out of guilt or saintliness. He forced both reservations down. The longer he put off talking to Sirius, the harder it would get. And they were friends. Every time Remus had doubted him, he'd been proven wrong. There must something he didn't know about, some reason

"Right!" said Peter. "I'll go get them right away." Remus smiled at him in thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

He spent the next few minutes doing a more thorough physical check – his arm was wrapped up, and not bleeding through the bandages; the cut on his forehead seemed to have been closed; nothing else seemed majorly wrong. Although the injuries had been worse than most recent transformations, they seemed to have been fixed up fairly easily. He was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey bursting through the door, literally dragging Sirius by his ear after her.

She stared in on Sirius as soon as the door had swung closed behind her, continuing even when James and then Peter came running in.

"What on earth were you thinking, hexing another student that badly? When the boy can't even walk to the hospital wing, it might be a sign that you've gone too far. And look at _you_! Have you been getting in fights all day? On the bed, _now_, let me fix you up."

Sirius did look rough. One side of his face was swollen as if from a Stinging Hex, and his ears had been turned a brilliant shade of green. James too was sporting a spectacular black eye.

Sirius sat uncharacteristically still while Madam Pomfrey began to reverse the hexes. He still hadn't looked at Remus.

"Really though," Pomfrey continued, "I don't understand how you can think it's alright to get in all these fights. Do you just-"

She was cut off by an outburst from Sirius. "So I'm just supposed to sit there while-! You didn't hear what they were saying about Remus! It's so unfair. I thought it was just my family who thought like that but-" He wrenched away from Pomfrey's ministrations, turned and kicked the bed he'd been sitting on.

"Mr. Black! Sit down immediately!" Madam Pomfrey sputtered, but it was only James who had any effect. He came over and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder, muttering "Sirius, mate, calm down. Let's make sure Remus knows what's going on, ok."

"Right. Right," agreed Sirius, sitting on the bed. He fidgeted, heel hammering against the floor.

"Do you know what happened?" James asked Remus.

Remus nodded. "Peter told me." He paused. "It's bad then?"

James rubbed the back of his neck. "It's pretty bad. I- People are awful, I'm so sorry, Remus…"

Remus forced down a wave of nausea. The panicked child at the back of his mind had started up again, hyperventilating about torches and pitchforks, and he fought to calm himself.

"Ok," he breathed, and said more clearly. "It's ok, it's not their fault." [_they'll hunt you down they'll tear apart the monster _shouted the child]

"It's Snape's fucking fault though!" burst out Sirius. "He must have known Dumbledore wouldn't want him to tell, or he wouldn't have run to Slytherin first thing. He's been smirking all day, if James had let me near him I'd have punched the piece of shit so hard he-"

"Mr. Black," cut in a kindly voice, "I think you've made your feelings on the matter quite clear."

Sirius stopped abruptly. Dumbledore stood in the doorway, looking unusually grave. "How are you feeling, Mr. Lupin? Madam Pomfrey has given you her usual excellent care?"

"Yes, sir." said Remus. "She has, of course. I'm feeling relatively well."

"Glad to hear it." said Dumbledore. "I'm also glad to see your friends around you. They've informed you, I assume, of the unfortunate events that happened last night?"

"Yes, sir," Remus repeated.

"Excellent, excellent. Then we can discuss." He flicked his wand, and a set of padded chairs appeared around Remus' bed. "Please, sit down everyone."

The three boys and Madam Pomfrey dutifully took seats, and Dumbledore himself glided to a chair by Remus' head.

"First off, Mr. Lupin, I intend to do everything in my power to ensure you can continue at Hogwarts. Let me reiterate that you have the same right to be here as any young wizard, and that no good can come of denying you an education. If you do not believe this yourself, it will be a thousand times more difficult to convince others."

Remus nodded. He did believe this, he realized. He had his perpetual doubts about whether it was safe for the other students to be around him, but these, like the panic, had faded considerably from when he'd first arrived. He knew that as a trained wizard, he'd be considerably more self-sufficient than as another desperate werewolf out on the streets. Surely that was better for wizarding society as a whole? He wondered sometimes if that belief came only from cowardice – maybe he was just trying to justify his own desire for a happier life. That desire was not inconsiderable – so close now to being a legally qualified wizard, he could barely face the thought of having it all ripped away. [_better hurry up and learn to face it, werewolf _went the panic-voice _they'll be coming for you soon._] The balance was tipped by the knowledge that Dumbledore and McGonagall and Pomfrey and his friends – good, intelligent people- believed that he should be here.

But still…"I don't think it's possible though – that I can stay here," He said. The other students, the parents, the Ministry…there's no way I'll be allowed to remain. It might – I think it would be better if I leave now. For me, and for you."

"Nonsense," replied Dumbledore. "I don't deny it will be difficult, but only with such a pessimistic view is there truly no hope. We should go through the situation though, and make sure we're all aware of what might happen."

"The first hurdle," he continued, "will be reassuring your classmates that you are the same person they have always known. This may, alas, be difficult in some cases. As I'm sure you're aware, the prejudices of childhood can endure in the face of all evidence to the contrary."

"We can assume that some students will have already informed their parents of your condition, which may lead to the Ministry investigating. They have no power to expel you – only I can make that decision. I will do my best to reassure any concerned parents or Ministry representatives, but you should know that they may want to speak to you – and to the rest of you," he added, looking around the room.

"In the worst case scenario, they decide to take legal action. This could come in the form of a criminal trial, for either of us, or of a hearing by the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures."

There was a collective wince.

"If there're going be a trial, though, I think it would be better if I just left now," cut in Remus. "If I'm sent to Azkaban, or if they try to make you leave—my going now might help avoid that."

"It might," agreed Dumbledore, "but there's no guarantee of that. It is of course your choice, but if you leave now, it will be seen as an admission that you were wrong to come. There's a chance that far more good – for you and others like you – will come of you remaining."

"He's right," added James. "You can't just give them what they want! You have every right to be here. And besides," he said with a small smile, " you can't break up the Marauders like that."

Remus hoped they were right. The thought of leaving Hogwarts was like a punch to the gut, almost worse that his fears of what would happen if he remained. Surely, he thought, with his friends by his side, and with the support of Dumbledore, he could make it through whatever happened.

"I'll stay," he decided. "I want to try and stay."

"Excellent!" said Dumbledore cheerfully. "We should first deal with the matter of returning you to classes."

Remus drew a breath. The old nightmares flashed up again – going to a class where everyone knew what he was, feeling their fear and repulsion thick around him, hearing the whispered vitriol that slowly built to a roar as the class stood as one, surrounded him and pulled out their wands to chase away the beast that had dared to invade their school.

He shook it off again. Staying at Hogwarts would be a bit pointless if he never went to class. And it wasn't like he hadn't dealt with people's reactions before. A part of him wanted to leave now, spare himself the pain before the inevitable expulsion. But it wasn't inevitable, not at all. Dumbledore was on his side. He hadn't even seemed to consider the option of Remus leaving immediately.

"I believe," said Dumbledore, "it would be best for you to resume classes as soon as possible. If you're feeling well enough, I think tomorrow would be best. If it becomes necessary, I can address the students, but I'd like to avoid that if possible. I think that would only lead to more unwelcome attention. I will speak to the staff though, and ask them to keep an eye out for you."

"I'm pleased to see your friends have been leaping to your defense, although I must ask them to do so with more regard for the safety of themselves and their classmates."

Madam Pomfrey snorted.

Half a minute passed with no one speaking. Then Dumbledore rose.

"Well, Remus, unless you have any questions, I'll leave you all to your rest and recuperation."

"N-no. Thank you, Professor." Remus managed. Dumbledore nodded with a sad smile, and swept from the room.

Madam Pomfrey immediately began bustling again. "Black, Potter, stay where you are." She finished fixing both their injuries, muttering to herself all the while.

"Right, now everyone out," she announced when she was done. "My patient needs to rest."

"Madame Pomfrey, if it's all right, could Sirius stay for a while? I need to talk to him," said Remus.

She scowled. "Ten minutes, and then sleep. I'll be in my office." She walked from the room.

"It'll be alright," said James, smiling uncertainly. "We'll watch out for you." He and Peter began to head for the door. Peter turned just before they reached it, and said,

"I- I'm glad you're alright. And they'll understand, just like we did, I'm sure!" Then he and James were gone.

Sirius still sat in his chair, gone very still now. He stared fixedly at a point by Remus' feet.

"He wouldn't stop _asking_," he said. "He just kept going on about where you went all the time, and were you off setting up for the stuff James and I got up to, and then he made some comment about moons, it was like he knew already, and I got so pissed at him I just-"

"Stop." interrupted Remus. "Please just stop." Sirius seemed very far away. Remus wants there to be more to it, some hidden reason for Sirius to have betrayed him like this, but he knows he won't find one.

A long silence. Then Sirius: "I can leave. You shouldn't have to deal with me anymore."

The world cracks for a moment. Remus almost lets him go.

"Please," he manages just before Sirius reaches the door. "Please don't-"

Sirius freezes, turns. Their eyes meet for the first time that evening. Remus is hit with a terrible certainty. He will forgive this betrayal, forgive just about anything, if Sirius stays in the room now.

Sirius' mouth moves, the words caught somewhere. He drops into Padfoot, nestles underneath Remus' bed, does not leave until morning. Miraculously, Remus sleeps well that night.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun through the window wakes him the next morning. He slides out of bed, and shakes Padfoot gently awake. The dog snorts softly, nuzzles Remus' feet, and then slides smoothly into boy.

"Too early," Sirius groans.

The corners of Remus' mouth twitch into not-quite-a-smile. He eases himself onto the floor next to his friend.

"It's good," he says. "We need to get back to the room before everyone wakes up."

"Moony, why must you be so cruelly practical? Coast through life unworried, revel in the havoc! By havoc, of course, I mean sleep."

_Because not worrying about what you do is working out _so _well_, Remus thinks, but stifles the words before they reach his lips. Instead, he seizes the back of Sirius' shirt and hauls.

"C'mon, Padfoot" he says. "Think of it as an adventure."

"It can't count as an adventure until at least noon." grumbles Sirius as he stands. They depart.

Thankfully, the common room is empty when they enter. Sirius continues to the dormitory the four Marauders share with two other sixth-year boys, probably to fall asleep again. Remus goes to take a much-needed shower.

He is careful to keep his still bandaged arm out of the water. He dresses in the shower stall, and then goes to the mirror to check his forehead. Only a thin red line remains. He suspects it came from smashing his head against the walls in his escape attempts, not directly from the wolf, so it should fade away soon. Still, even a day with a visible mark of violence is only going to make this harder.

He turns to go to the dormitory. The bathroom door swings open just as he steps towards it. He barely jumps out of the way, but smashes into the boy entering.

"Shit, sorry," says Anthony Morris, one of Remus' roommates. He steps backward when he sees who he's bumped into.

_Here it comes_ thinks Remus. _It'll be okay, just breath through it, you'll be okay…_

Anthony seems uncertain. He is still between Remus and the door. Finally, he says, "You came back then. Nobody was sure if you would."

Remus nods.

"Is it true? That you're…"

Remus swallows, then nods again.

He can see the wheel spinning on Anthony's face, the reaction lottery that happens every time. The needle lands on revulsion. Remus swears silently.

"How can they let you go here?" Anthony asks.

"Dumbledore believes it's safe. There's a house I go to every month, out of the castle."

"Yeah, well, what about the rest of the time? I've been sharing a room with you for six years, and suddenly it turns out you're not even human! You've been lying to us this whole time."

Remus steps backward. "I'm sorry. I- I had to."

"What, they dragged you here by your _tail_?" Anthony spits.

"N- no, but I need an education. I-"

"So you put the rest of us in danger? I hope you don't think you're sleeping in the same room as me anymore, werewolf."

"I can go somewhere else, I'll find somewhere. But please-"

The bathroom door opens again. James enters, eyes half closed and hair, remarkably, more tousled than usual. He snaps to alertness when he sees the expression on Remus' face.

"Everything all right?" he asks.

Anthony answers first. "You know what he is, right?"

"You mean one of my best friends?" says James.

"Don't play stupid, Potter. I don't get why you're not bothered, but I don't want it sleeping next to me."

James' face hardens. "All of us in the room can talk after classes today. In the meantime, why don't you go fuck yourself?" He turns to Remus. "I'll be ready for breakfast in a few minutes. Wanna make sure Pads and Wormtail are up?"

"Sure." Remus manages. "We'll meet you in the room." He escapes from the bathroom, and pauses for a moment just outside to breath and still his trembling limbs.


	5. Chapter 5

Peter is up. Sirius has fallen fully clothed onto the bed and is snoring loudly. Their sixth roommate, Frank Longbottom, is already gone.

Remus dresses in silence and packs his school bag. He turns to Peter, who is also ready now, and hikes a thumb at Sirius.

"Think we could just levitate him down to breakfast?"

"The smell of food will definitely wake him up better than we could," Peter answers with a grin.

Eventually James comes back from the bathroom, wet-haired and glowering, and wakes Sirius by conjuring a jet of water at his face. The four of them leave the room and begin heading down to the Great Hall. The common room is mostly empty, as are the corridors. Almost everyone is already at breakfast. James and Sirius, as usual, chat loudly as they walk, and Remus hangs next to Peter just behind them.

They reach the Gryffindor table with no incidents. Their seats are empty – the Marauders sit in the same place at every meal. After a few oustings by James and Sirius years ago when they couldn't find four chairs together, people know to leave their spots open. The rest of the table is crowded with students eating breakfast and chatting.

The four boys take their seats are at the far end of the table, James and Sirius on one side, and Remus and Peter opposite them. Most people are too engrossed in breakfast to have paid attention to their entrance. Remus silently prays it will stay this way, makes sure to look only at his food and at the faces of his friends.

The post owls swoop in with a great rustle. James receives a copy of the _Daily Prophet_, as he does every morning. An owl comes for Sirius as well. The letter is no more than a single sheet of parchment, no envelope or postage. Sirius' face grows darker as he reads it. He tosses the paper on the table for them all to read.

_Sirius,_

_I thought it would be easier to tell you this in a letter, instead of finding a place to meet. I'm sure you've heard by now that the Lupin boy you hang around with is a werewolf. Narcissa mentioned it in her letter to Aunt Druella last night, so Mother will certainly know by now. I'm worried that she'll be angry with you, for treating a dark creature as a friend. Of course you must not have known what he was before now. I just wanted to let you know that if she doesn't believe that you didn't, I can confirm it for her, and try to convince her that you're not friends with him anymore._

_ Sincerely,_

_Your brother, Regulus_

Sirius is still glowering, and seems to be deliberating something. He stands abruptly, knocking over his chair. He storms off, making a beeline for the Slytherin table.

"Sirius, wait," James calls after him, with no effect.

Remus stands and runs after Sirius, grabbing the other boy's shoulder to stop him. He tries not to think about the hundreds of other eyes in the room.

"What are you doing, Padfoot?" he says softly. "Don't make a scene, all right?"

"I'll damn well make a scene if I want to, Remus!" Sirius says loudly. He turns again, and comes face to face with Regulus, who has risen to meet them.

"You'll want to let go of my brother, werewolf," says Regulus, looking at Remus' hand still on Sirius' shoulder. Remus drops his hand instantly, and takes a small step backwards.

"And you'll want to watch your tone with my friend, Reg," snaps Sirius.

Regulus looks confused. "You haven't heard? What he is?"

"I've known since second year," says Sirius coldly.

"But…How can you…?" Regulus' expression shifts from confusion to worry. He speaks quietly now. "Mother…really isn't going to be happy. Friends with a half-breed?"

"Mother and I disagree on a lot of things. I'm not abandoning a friend to make her happy." Sirius throws an arm over Remus' shoulders and spins them both around, walking back to the Gryffindor table. As they go, Remus hears Regulus speak again, nearly whisper.

"Just be careful..."

As soon as they've hit the table again, Remus says to Sirius, "You really didn't have to do that."

"If you say you're not worth it, Moony, I swear I'll tear you a new one."

"Forgive me, Sirius, but I've met your mother, and I know she's not someone to cross." Remus remembers the humiliating visit of Walburga Black to his parents' home. She'd invited herself there, as well as to James's and Peter's houses, for what they all knew was an inspection of Sirius's friends, an inspection he'd resoundingly failed. He thinks also of the things Sirius has told only him, things about his worst moments - punishments for crimes much less that that of tainting himself by associating with a werewolf.

"She could make life really difficult for you," Remus continued. "If avoiding me, even just publicly, could spare you that…"

"Don't you remember anything from when we found out about you? I'm never going to abandon you over this!"

"It's different now though - now that people know-"

"I don't care! You're my friend and you're one of the best people I know, and if being friends with you means my family gets their pureblood panties in a knot, well, my family can go fuck themselves." He glowers again. "Eat your breakfast Moony."

"Right. You too. Don't take all the jam this time, please," sputters Remus. He is deeply uneasy, worried for Sirius, but can't help the smile of relief and wonder bursting through at the corners of his mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

They go off to Transfigurations, saying goodbye to Peter, who dropped the subject after his barely passing OWL. In the now-crowded hallways, Remus is conscious of the looks he is receiving – mostly curiosity, some fear—and the whispers that follow them. He is again grateful to be travelling in a group.

They reach the classroom, and James and Sirius head for the desk in the back they always share. The whispers and looks that spring up at Remus' entrance quickly fade away as the two black-haired boys glower at the other students. Remus' usual partner, Lily Evans, is already seated.

"Mind if I join you, Lily?" asks Remus as he reaches the desk.

"We've been sitting together all year," she replies. "Why on earth would I mind now?"

Remus smiles weakly and gratefully, and begins to pull out his wand and textbook. As he does, Rosalind Axel, another girl in their year, comes over and whispers something in Lily's ear.

"Thanks, Rosa, I had heard. I really don't see why everyone's so worked up about it." Lily says aloud. She turns away, and flips through her textbook until Professor McGonagall comes in.

The rest of the class goes normally, with everyone straining silently at their non-verbal spells. They are turning scraps of parchment into butterflies. Sirius, as usual, gets it halfway through and somehow makes a butterfly the size of a throw pillow. It lands on Rosalind's head, causing her to panic until Professor McGonagall vanishes it and gives Sirius detention.

Lily gets a butterfly a few minutes later, and spends the rest of the time working on turning it different colors. Remus is sweating from the effort by then. His crippled butterflies are staggering sadly around the table. He gives it one more burst, and his parchment flaps its wings and flutters upwards. He sighs in relief; it is a drab brown, but unmistakably a butterfly. He relaxes enough to talk quietly with Lily.

On to Defense against the Dark Arts. Remus sits down next to James. The boy on his other side fidgets nervously for a minute, then gets up to talk to a friend. When he sits down again, it is at a different desk. The class goes well enough. Professor Maitland has them pair up and practice together. The four friends generally rotate who works with whom in this class, and Remus is with James today.

As they are about to leave, Professor Maitland calls out, "Remus, a word?" Maitland is one of the most enthusiastic men Remus has ever met – generally competent at explaining the coursework, and an understanding teacher, but exhaustingly excitable, to the extent that he comes off a little flighty.

Remus walks to the front as the rest of the class leaves. He hopes Sirius, James, and Peter will wait for him outside. "Yes, Professor?" he says.

"Headmaster Dumbledore told the staff yesterday that you're a werewolf." says Maitland.

The bottom drops out of Remus' stomach. "I- yes Professor, I am, but Dumbledore's known all year, we take safety precautions, I swear I would never hurt anyone…"

Professor Maitland holds up a hand to stop him. To Remus' astonishment, he is grinning broadly. "Remus, why are you so upset? This is excellent! I'll be teaching the third years about werewolves later in the year, and information on them is so unreliable. I want to ask if you would help me go through it."

"What?" sputters Remus.

"Where else am I going to actually find a werewolf to ask about this? The accounts are sometimes directly contradictory; it's a disgrace. Does silver bother you or not? Maybe you could even address the class, they could hear firsthand, it would be a fantastic opportunity…"

He pauses for breath. Remus holds a stunned silence for a moment, then breaks into helpless, hysterical laughter. It is several minutes before he can breathe again. Professor Maitland looks utterly mystified.

"I'm sorry Professor," he manages. "That's just…not a reaction I've ever gotten before. I was afraid you were going to attack me."

"Attack you? Why on earth-?" Maitland looks suddenly crestfallen. "I guess people don't always react well at all, do they? I'm terribly sorry, I really don't see they don't see what a wonder you are! There are so few werewolves in England, and even fewer who will admit to it. But I guess I really can't blame them…Anyway, what do you say to my proposal?"

"I- I could go through the material with you, and tell you what parts are wrong. I don't think I'd be comfortable with much more than that."

"Yes, of course, whatever you're comfortable with." The professor pauses, suddenly awkward. "I should have realized, you might not want to talk about it."

Remus is much more comfortable discussing his condition than he once was, but it is still the very last thing he wants to talk about.

"In the spring, though, maybe you could come by my office and we could go through the material?"

"I don't know if I'll still be here in the spring, Professor."

"Why not? Are you planning on dropping out?"

Remus fights down a surge of frustration. Professor Maitland doesn't mean badly, he reminds himself. In his life, he's had so many thoughtless questions thrown at him. He'd learned long ago that staying patient and answering them was by far the safest thing to do. His father had drilled him before visits to the Ministry, where a badge marked him as a werewolf – speak clearly, move calmly, be careful not to touch anyone, watch people for signs of danger, and never, ever get angry.

"I'm not sure yet if I'll be allowed to stay," he answers. "Not all the other students are comfortable with me here, and if their parents go to the Ministry, legal action might be taken against me. It's very likely, actually."

Maitland looks abashed. "I'm sorry, Remus, I should have realized. If it would help, I can speak in your favor, you're an excellent student…" He perks up. "Would you be able to come in this Saturday to talk? I should be able to pull most of the material together by then. How about 1?"

"I could do that," says Remus.

"Excellent, excellent!" enthuses Professor Maitland. "I'll see you then. Will you be on time to your next class? I can give you a note, let the professor know I held you up."

"I think I have time to get there. Thank you though," answers Remus. "I'll see you on Saturday."


	7. Chapter 7

Out in the hallway, he finds his friends waiting for him. Together, they hurry to Charms. They are almost late; the class looks up as they enter. Remus flinches as he sees the faces again. The four boys go to their desks in the back, and the class proceeds normally.

The next real problem comes just before they reach the great hall for lunch. A group of Slytherin boys is waiting for them. (_No, for _you) Remus reminds himself. But maybe not entirely – James and Sirius have fought with this group before. Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery – he should have seen this coming.

"Snape had some interesting news the other night," sneers Rosier.

"Yeah?" returns Sirius, sneering almost as much. "Where is the little git? Haven't seen him since yesterday. Still pissing himself in terror?"

"You've got a lot of gall. You're the one who almost got him killed, you mad bloodtraitor."

Sirius snarls and raises his wand; Remus grabs his arm and hold him back. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Peter trying to similarly restrain James.

Rosier scoffs and turns to Remus. "Smart move, half-breed." he says. "You're the one we wanted to talk to." Remus doesn't reply. "I just wanted to let you know, that if you're really so smart you'll start packing your bags. My father's been talking to Walburga Black and some other wizards who are planning to go to the Ministry tomorrow. Whether Dumbledore cooperates or not, they'll have you dragged out of here within the month. You'll save everyone a lot of trouble if you get out now."

"He's not going _anywhere_!" spits Sirius. His muscles tense in Remus' grip.

Rosier raises an eyebrow. "If you say so, Black. You know, I really don't understand how you can bear to let it touch you."

Wand forgotten, Sirius roars and charges forward, swinging at Rosier's face and connecting with a sickening crack. Mulciber steps forward and sends out a stunning spell, which James deflects with a shield charm. Remus lunges forward and pulls Sirius back again with all his strength. Rosier is bleeding from the nose. Remus throws up a shield charm between the two groups and holds it there.

"We don't want trouble, all right?" he says. "We're just going to go to lunch now. He glares at his friends until they reluctantly move towards the Great Hall, then follows them, holding the shield until they are almost at the door. Behind them, Mulciber and Avery are smirking, while Rosier holds his bleeding nose and glares.

Remus holds it in until they've sat down at their house table. "What the hell were you _thinking_?" he finally bursts out.

"Are you kidding me, Moony?" asks Sirius. "Did you hear anything that piece of shit said?"

"Sirius, if you attack everyone who says something nasty about me, you'll be expelled, and I'll get it even worse for the attention."  
"So what, I should just let him say it?"

"_Yes_," says Remus, quietly and urgently. "You let him say it, and you walk away. Look, some people will come around, but if we're fighting all the time it'll be a lot fewer."

"You think Rosier's going to _come around_?"

"Absolutely not. But even for people like him, getting angry only makes it worse."

"Or you jinx him into a puddle, and then he leaves you alone."

"No. Sirius, you've got to listen to me. When werewolves jinx people into puddles, we get executed without trial."

"But it wouldn't be you…"

"It doesn't matter. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if people are looking at the son of Orion Black and at me and deciding who to blame, it's not going to be you. Please. I'm grateful you want to help, but the best way you can do that is by letting this go, this and anything like it."

Sirius nods reluctantly.

James chips in. "At least it'll probably get better soon. We were awful at first too, when we found out." He cocks his head. "Except Sirius, I guess. A lot of people will just need some time to get used to the idea."

"Not Rosier though," Peter adds. "Rosier's just awful."

Remus turns to Sirius again. "Please. You're my best friend, I know that. I need you to promise me you won't attack anyone."

Sirius looks away. "Alright," he says finally, looking back at Remus. "I promise."

"Thank you." says Remus. He turns to James and Peter. "You too?"

"Right, because we all know Peter won't be able to keep his hands off Rosier," says James. "I promise not to do anything dumb."

"Peter?" continues Remus. "Can you contain your massive violent urges?"

"Barely," says Peter, "but I'll manage somehow."


	8. Chapter 8

After lunch, the boys go down to Herbology together. They split up afterwards for the first time. Remus has Arithmancy, and the other three have a break period. They walk him to the door of the Arithmancy classroom.

"Sure you don't want us to come with you?" asks James. "We could hide under the desks, Professor Sephos would never notice."

Remus grins. "He's not quite so blind yet. I'll be fine. I'll see you right after." Despite his words, his stomach lurches uneasily as he enters the classroom.

The class is quite small – not many people were interested in NEWT-level Arithmancy. Of the seven students, only two are already there- a Slytherin boy, Lawrence Deaver, and a Ravenclaw girl, Darcy Yorke. Lawrence scowls as Remus came in, and Darcy looks nervous. Remus flushes and takes a seat near the door. He remembers with a stab of dread that Anthony is in this class.

A few other students came in, including Anthony, who takes a desk as far from Remus as he can. Lily Evans arrives a minute later, and sits down next to Remus.

"I don't think you want to sit there, Evans," says Anthony loudly.

"And why is that?" snaps Lily.

"You haven't heard yet? Lupin's a _werewolf_."

"People seem awfully concerned about telling me that today." Lily said, and turns away from Anthony, who doesn't respond.

"Thanks," Remus says to Lily, out of the corner of his mouth.

"For what, not avoiding you? You know, I've known for years."

"You have?" Remus starts. "But you didn't-"

"I didn't say anything because it was none of my business. But you were sick so often, and the four of you would get so dodgy when I asked about it, I figured something strange was going on. Severus guessed it too, and he'd go on to me about it. I always told him he was being silly because he obviously didn't mean well, but it did seem like the most likely explanation. I just don't see why everyone's being so horrible. It's not like you're any different most of the time."

"People who were raised in the wizarding world don't see it that way. My mom – she's Muggle-born too – never understood it either. I think part of it is that wizards know magical creatures are real, and often dangerous, so when they know someone is one part of the time it's hard to think of them as human even when they look like they are."

"That's terrible though. You're obviously human."

"I'm not, though. I'm a half-breed, and legally I'm classified as a Beast. I can't blame people for being uncomfortable."

"Of course you can!" snorted Lily. "It's not like it's something you chose, and unless you're wandering around loose on the full moon, you're really not hurting anyone."

"I know. I'm really glad you feel that way." Remus answered. "But not everyone sees that if their parents have been talking about werewolves as animals their whole lives. And a lot of werewolves aren't as concerned as they should be about protecting people from themselves."

He was interrupted by the arrival of Professor Klem. After class, he and Lily meet James, Sirius, and Peter, and they walk down to dinner together. The stares and whispers are still going strong, and one girl – she looks like a first year - actually jumps back when she sees him. He feels a twinge of guilt as he notices that Peter and Lily are obviously uncomfortable with the attention paid to their group, although James and Sirius seem totally unconcerned.

James, at least, is obviously preoccupied by the unexpected presence of Lily – his rate of hair-mussing has skyrocketed.

"Hey Peter, I think there's something on your face," he says loudly.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, it's huge! Did you get splashed in Potions or something? That's got to be what everyone's been staring at."

"I – haven't had Potions today… What's wrong with my face?" Peter asks nervously.

Remus hears Lily huff impatiently besides him, and cuts in.

"Your face is fine, Peter. Knock it off, James."

"I'm serious, it's bloody enormous…"

Sirius grins wickedly. "Hey Evans, you know what else is enormous?"

Remus sighs as Lily marches away. He really does enjoy her company. He's seen much more of her since she stopped spending time with Snape last year. Although she mainly hangs out with some of the other sixth year girls, Rosa and Alice, she and Remus often work together. James and Sirius give him hell about it, of course. This is one of the few times she's stayed around once his other friends have shown up, and he can't really blame her for not doing so more often.

"I was going to say Prong's head," mutters Sirius, looking insincerely crestfallen.


	9. Chapter 9

After dinner, Sirius goes off to a detention with McGonagall for the giant butterfly, and the others head towards the Gryffindor common room. Anthony is sitting by the fire.

"Do you want to talk some sense in to him now?" James asks Remus, gesturing at Anthony.

Remus shakes his head. "Let's wait for Sirius and Frank, talk all together. I'm going to go work in the room." He is uncomfortably aware that the longer they stand there, the more eyes turn towards them.

James and Peter agree to join him there. The other students watch them as they walk towards the boy's dormitory. Remus brushes someone's knee as he passes through the crowded room; the other boy inhales sharply and pulls away.

It is a relief to finally be back in their room, alone with James and Peter. They work for a few hours, joking around less than usual, until Sirius bursts in.

"Got you all something!" he says, and throws a pile of cookies down in front of them.

"Weren't you in detention?" asks Remus.

"Doesn't mean I can stop by the kitchens on my way back. How's my favorite werewolf holding up?"

"Pretty well, actually." He isn't lying. Years ago, exposure like this would have left him a terrified, humiliated mess – he wouldn't have lasted the day. But although it's been anything but easy to see people's reactions, having his friends by him has made this a thousand times better than he'd ever dreamed.

"Are you up for talking to Anthony now?" asks James. "We should probably get it over with."

"Yes, I guess so," agrees Remus. "If I need to change sleeping arrangements, better to find out now than in the middle of the night."

"But you won't," says Sirius fiercely, "because Morris is going to stop being a twat if I have to feed his intestines to weasels first."

"Not going to help you with that one, mate." says James. "Let's go get him and Frank." He and Sirius disappear into the common room. Remus tries to clear most of their mess of homework and cookies off the floor so they'll have a place to talk, and then moves away from the door and tries to look nonthreatening. Peter continues to puzzle over his Charms essay, hurriedly shoving it behind him when the door opens.

Sirius comes in first, followed by Frank, and then a sullen Anthony, with James bringing up the rear. The six boys sit together on the floor.

"So," James says. "I'm sure you've both heard by now about Remus' condition. We just wanted to make sure we're all ok, and that you're not going to make trouble for him."

"Make sure you're not going to be gits." Sirius growls.

"So it's true, then?" Frank addresses Remus. "You're a werewolf?"

Remus nods.

"I thought maybe it was just the Slytherins making shit up. They're saying you almost killed someone."

"I – it's true," Remus says quietly. "There a place off the grounds where I go to transform. Severus Snape found his way in two nights ago."

"There've been all kinds of stories. I've heard that one, but people are also saying you were loose on the grounds, you told him to meet you there, he went to try and kill you…"

Remus blanched. "It wasn't deliberate, please believe me. I had no idea he – _anyone_ would be able to get in."

Sirius spoke up. "It was my fault. I was arguing with Snape, and I accidentally told him where to find Remus. Remus has done _nothing_. He didn't choose this, and he would never deliberately hurt anyone."

"How do you accidentally tell someone where to find a werewolf?" snaps Anthony.

"I- the entrance is hard to get to, and I was angry and thought it would be a laugh to see him try. I never thought he would actually make it."

"But still, you told him where the entrance was?" asks Frank. Sirius nods glumly. Frank's expression hardens, and he turns to address the group.

"And – did you all know? And you managed to hide it? For how long?"

Remus answers him. "I've been a werewolf since before I came to Hogwarts. Dumbledore knew when he admitted me here – he set up the place for me to transform. Some of the other staff know too, but none of the students were meant to. Sirius, James, and Peter figured it out in second year."

Frank is quiet for a minute, and then asks, "What's it like? Being a werewolf, I mean?"

"I don't really remember what it's like to be anything else. The transformations … they hurt a lot, and then I don't remember much until the morning. The rest of the time, I can sort of feel the wolf in the back of my mind, like an itch, but mostly my mind is like anyone else's, as far as I know."

"So you don't…", Frank laughs uncomfortably, "I don't know, want to eat people or anything like that?"

"No, of course not!" Remus flushes. "The wolf does, but except for the full moons, I'm in control of it. I swear, I would never intentionally hurt anyone."

Frank looks thoughtful again, and says after a moment, "I believe you". A gush of relief wells up in Remus' chest. Frank continues, "I can't say I'm comfortable with it, but you've been here for years and you haven't hurt anyone. And the thing that just happened – that I'm really not comfortable with, but it doesn't sound like it can be considered your fault." He smiles slightly. "Actually, the whole 'living with a werewolf' thing is really kind of cool."

"Well, I'm not ok with it." spits Anthony. "I don't think it's safe for you to be here, I don't want to be around you, and I don't think Dumbledore should be exposing students to a Dark Creature."

"Maybe you should just leave then!" snaps Sirius. "We all know Remus is twice the person you are."

"So I guess you just all gang up on me until I agree to be friends with him?"

"No!" Remus cuts in. "If you don't want anything to do with me, that's fine. But I'm going to try and stay at Hogwarts as long as I can, so we need to figure out an arrangement."

"I want you out of my room. Can that be the arrangement?"

Frank puts a hand on Anthony's shoulder, gets halfway through a "calm down" before Anthony shrugs him off angrily.

"Well, I might be able to go somewhere else, the hospital wing or something," says Remus. "I could talk to Dumbledore, but-"

"Remus, shut up" interrupts James. "You're not going to move into the hospital wing, that's ridiculous."

"I'll leave, then" says Anthony. "If you're all so attached to the werewolf. I've got friends in 5th year and I think they've got a room with just three people. Maybe I could move in with them."

"We could ask McGonagall about it" says Remus, "that sounds like it could be possible. But is there any way I can convince you to stay? I'll answer any questions you have, and I promise, I don't want to hurt anyone. If there's any way I can show that…"

"It's not really about what you want though, is it? You can't change what you are. I'm going to talk to McGonagall now." He walks out, slamming the door behind him.

"Are you alright, Remus?" asks Peter. "Sorry that didn't go better."

"Yeah, hopefully he'll come around," adds Frank. "I'm going to head back down to the common room- I'll see you all later."

"Thanks, Frank." says Remus. "It means a lot – how well you're taking this." And then with a small smile to Peter: "I'm fine, thanks. How's the Charms essay going?"

"Hey Prongs, have any dungbombs left?" asks Sirius loudly. "I think the 5th year boys' room could use a few."

"You can't be that straightforward, Sirius." answers James. "Haven't you learned anything here?"

The two of them spend the next few hours plotting against Anthony, while Remus and Peter work and occasionally chip in. Remus figures he should throw the wet blanket on eventually, although plotting is much better than punching people for him - but there would be plenty of time for that. After Frank returns for bed, the four friends wrap it up and also go to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

When Remus wakes, Anthony's things are gone. His bed has vanished too, and the five remaining ones are spaced evenly across the room. Remus is impressed the house-elves have managed that without waking any of the boys. Not that much would have woken him. He was still somewhat tired from the recent transformation, and the loyalty of his friends minimized any uneasiness in his sleep.

The morning passed without incident. Remus stuck close to his friends again. He received a lot of nervous looks, and was careful to avoid bumping other students in the hallways, but no one confronted him openly. His first class in the afternoon was Care of Magical Creatures. He was alone for this one, but the students were kept busy enough with individual work that it didn't much matter, although the others did keep a subtle distance from him as they all stood for the lecture at the beginning.

Walking back to the castle afterwards, the small group of returning Gryffindors, with Remus hanging at the back, passed a clump of Slytherin students on their way down to class. A moment later, Remus felt something nudging at his hand. He looked down; it was a small paper airplane, like those he'd seen flying around the Ministry of Magic during his visits as a child. He took hold of the paper, and as he did its motion stopped. Remus slipped it into his bag to look at once he got back to the castle.

He had a break period next, but he couldn't read it there. If a note had been sent to him in this odd way, it was probably intended to be private. He'd be joining the other three Marauders for the break, and nothing was private with Sirius around. He decided to slip off to the bathroom before meeting his friends.

A few minutes later, safely inside a restroom stall, he unfolded the paper. The message was short:

_ We need to talk. Meet me tonight at 8 in the Owlery. Come alone – Regulus Black_

Why would Regulus Black want to talk to him? There were only two plausible options: it was a trap, or it was about Sirius. Should he go? It was an odd place for an ambush – dueling in a room full of panicked owls could only end badly. They might jump him on the way there, though… But if Regulus really did want to talk, Remus felt he owed him at least that much. At breakfast, he'd seemed to be genuinely concerned about his brother. And probably with good reason, knowing the Black family. _You're more worried about him being in danger from his parents than from running around with a slavering monster every month?_ added Remus' inner voice. Nevertheless, Sirius' parents might be a real problem.

Speaking of parents, Remus realized with a jolt that his mother and father probably still didn't know what had happened. He needed to write. And if he was sending a letter anyway, well, he might as well do it at 8.

He arrived early, just in case it was a trap, but found Regulus already there. The other boy started when Remus came in, but quickly regained his composure. His face stiffened into the all-too-familiar pureblood mask, only his eyes, moving a little too quickly, betraying his nervousness.

When Regulus said nothing, Remus moved towards one of the school owls perched by the wall. It edged away from him, as most animals did in the days soon before and after the full moon, but he calmed it and tied the note to his father to the owl's foot.

He would need to pass Regulus to reach the window. The other boy seemed to realize this, and stepped aside to make room. Remus walked carefully past him, and released the bird into the night. He was no longer between Regulus and the exit, which would hopefully make this less nerve-wracking for the pureblood. Remus watched the owl fly off, took a deep breath, and turned to face Regulus.

"I appreciate that I'm not being jumped right now, but since it seems like you actually wanted to talk to me, can I ask what about?"

"About Sirius," Regulus said bitterly. "What else?" He paused, and the pureblood mask set more firmly. "You need to stay away from him."

Remus swallowed, forced himself to look at Regulus' eyes. "That's not something I can do."

"You don't understand. It's your fault he's like this!" As he spoke, Regulus became more and more hysterical. "He wasn't – before he came to Hogwarts, he was _good_. Not entirely – he'd get in trouble sometimes, but not much more than I did. And we were friends, and our parents didn't—But then he came here, and when he came back he was like a different person, more every time. He fights with our parents so much, he torments the house-elves, he says these crazy things, he won't talk to me…I didn't know what had happened, I thought it was being in Gryffindor, but it must be you!

"I-"

"Do you know what our parents are going to do to him? Next time he comes home?"

"I don't." said Remus quietly. "He never tells me what they do. He just comes back with nightmares for a month."

"What have you been telling him?" roared Regulus. Around them, owls panicked. "You've done something, you've made him crazy, tell me!" He grabbed Remus' collar, shoved him backward. "Why would he be friends with you, why would he even tolerate you?"

"I don't know," said Remus. "I never thought he would. I _know_ I'm a monster, and I've never understood why he didn't care. But he didn't, from the moment he told me he knew. I haven't done anything to him, I swear."

Regulus had stepped back; he seemed oddly collapsed inward. After a long silence, he muttered, "I think they're going to disown him. Father's threatened it before, and something like this…I can't lose my brother, and I can't let that happen to him!"

Remus' guts wrenched. Disowned…? "I'm sorry. I don't know how much I can do. I doubt he'll agree to this, and even if he did…. I don't know if I can do this without him. He and James and Peter are the only reason I haven't left already."

Regulus bent to one knee, the self-loathing on his face clearly evident as he did. "Please. At least publicly, stay away from Sirius. If you're really his friend, you'll do it, to protect him."

Remus closed his eyes, thought of Sirius' face when he spoke about him family, the sudden rages, the shaking in the middle of the night, his head full of terrors he would never tell anyone about.

He nodded.

"I'll do my best."

Regulus stood slowly, let out a long breath of relief. As he pulled himself together, the mask was back as if it had never gone.

"Good," he said coldly. "Hopefully we won't have to speak again." He spun on his heel and strode away.


	11. Chapter 11

Remus walked slowly back to the dorm, happy that the hallways were empty at this time of night. Not so the Gryffindor common room – it was crowded with students doing homework and chatting. There was a perceptible drop in noise level as he entered. Remus straightened his back and tried to ignore the furtive looks that followed him as he made his way up to the dormitory. He found his three friends there, unusually quiet. Peter was bent over an essay, looking like he wanted to disappear into it. James was tossing balls of paper in the air and shooting them at the wall with his wand, a scrunched expression on his face like he had a headache. Sirius was also writing an essay, pressing his quill hard into the paper. The first thing Remus heard when he entered was Sirius' loud expletive as he broke its point.

The second was a greeting from Peter, a "hello" that sounded almost relieved.

"Hello," returned Remus. "How's the Charms paper going?"

Peter shrugged. Sirius swore again.

"Could I talk to Sirius alone for a moment?"

"Knock yourself out," muttered James, igniting the ball of paper he'd just tossed. Remus knew better than to ask what had happened, with everyone in a mood like this, and besides, it was more important right now to talk to Sirius. The longer he thought about it, the surer he became – he had to convince the other boy to stay away from him.

Peter hurriedly gathered up his books, and the two boys left the dormitory.

Remus looked at Sirius, who was now sitting on his bed, looking utterly desolate. Remus' first instinct was to reassure his friend, to let him know that he couldn't be angry with him. Sirius' initial acceptance, more immediate and full than Remus had ever dreamed was possible, and the depth of their friendship made Remus feel that it would be nearly impossible for Sirius to do anything he couldn't look past. It wasn't that he forgave Sirius, exactly, it was just that it didn't matter. He felt vaguely ashamed – was he really that weak and dependent?

But he needed to lose Sirius' friendship, he reminded himself. Reassuring him that it was intact was not the way to do that.

Sirius had not moved or spoken since James and Peter had left, despite Remus' hesitation. Remus gathered his courage.

"Your brother asked to talk to me, earlier today."

"Did he really not have a cleverer way to try and lure you into a trap?"

"It wasn't a trap. He-"

"You _went_? Are you mad?"

"It wasn't a trap. He really just wanted to talk."

"But still, you can't just go off with any Slytherin who—"

"I went because he wanted to talk about _you_." Remus interrupted.

"Was he warning me to stay away from you again? I hope you told him to go fuck himself."

"Sirius…he thinks your parents might disown you."

"So let them, I don't care. They can barely stand to have me around anyway."

"I don't think," Remus said carefully, "that you really understand what that means."

"Well why don't you tell me, Moony, since you seem to know so much about what's good for me?"

"Do you remember last time we went to Hogsmeade?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"What did you buy while we were there?"

"Uh – a lot of dungbombs, mostly. A new potions book for James, since I set his on fire… A bunch of candy too, I think. I got you some chocolate."

"How much did it cost?"

"I don't bloody know, Moony, what are you getting at?"

"Where'd the money come from?"

"My parents, you know th– I see what you're doing. Goddamnit Moony. But I don't need to buy a load of dungbombs every month, I could get along fine without the money."

"Maybe you could. But I'm just saying, getting disowned isn't like getting a detention. It's a really big deal, and you need to think about the consequences."

"I have! You make it sound like I _want_ my parents to disinherit me."

"Well you're really not trying very hard to stop them."

"What, so I should stay away from you? Not in a million years!"

"That's exactly what you should do. I can't let you do this to yourself."

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not going to abandon you. I don't care what my family does!"

Remus felt sick. _I'm not worth it_, he wanted to shout, _don't do this to yourself_. He knew Sirius would never accept that. He could never convince the other boy to protect himself by avoiding Remus. The only option, then, was to convince Sirius that Remus didn't want to be his friend.

Steeling himself, he said to Sirius, "What if I don't want you around anymore?"

Sirius jerked backwards, looking like nothing so much as a kicked puppy. Remus forced himself to remain expressionless, although he felt like he was about to vomit.

"Have I ever actually said I've forgiven you?"

"No, but-"

"It's just like with the money. You don't think about the consequences before you do something, and you've been acting like nothing has happened. I don't think you understand what you've done to me. I'll be out of Hogwarts within the month, and what kind of life can I have after that?"

"You're not going to have to leave!" Sirius spat. "Dumbledore's on your side, and James and Peter and I won't ever give up until people leave you alone!"

"Is that really how you think it works? You heard what Rosier said – they're already going to the Ministry. Even if I manage to stay here, the whole world knows what I am now. I have less chance of ever finding a job than a rat has in a cage full of Kneazles. And the laws against werewolves are only going to get stricter now that everyone knows they let one into a children's school."

At first, every word he'd said had been a struggle, but Remus began to feel genuinely angry as he let the pent-up abuse and frustration of twelve years of life as a werewolf finally pour out.

"People will understand!" said Sirius frantically. "They'll come around like James and Peter and I did!"

"You 'came around' for an underweight twelve-year-old who you'd been best friends with for a year, and it still took James and Peter a while. And it was more than I could ever have expected – I can still barely believe it sometimes. People I've never met aren't going to be as sympathetic."

"But-"

"Have I ever told you why my family lives in a Muggle neighborhood? I was born in the wizarding district in London but we moved out once I was bitten, after the neighbors had blasted out our windows one too many times. Or what about the time the Healer at St. Mungo's refused to treat me without a security wizard next to her? Oh, or how about when I go to the Ministry every year to check in at the Registry? Did you know they give you a visitor's badge that just says 'werewolf'? It's pretty funny to see fully-grown wizards flinching at the sight of an eight-year-old boy."

"Remus, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Save it, Sirius. This isn't something you can make ok by saying sorry afterwards – you can't just take a detention and be done with it. I've been thinking about it, and I don't really want anything to do with you any more."

He almost recanted at the look on Sirius' face – it was amazing how vividly the hurt showed. _This is for his own good_, Remus reminded himself. _I need to do this to protect him from his family_. He forced his apology down., and tried to ignore his rising nausea. Instead, he told Sirius that he was going to bed, and asked him to let their other roommates know. In the bathroom, the expression of the two second-years he managed to terrify with his presence was almost comical. He wanted to applaud them for not rushing out. After finishing his ablutions, he climbed into bed, pulled the curtains, and turned toward the wall, prepared for a sleepless night that arrived as expected.


	12. Chapter 12

He rose early the next morning from his restless sleep. The room looked strange with one less bed.

He didn't particularly want to wait around for Sirius to wake up, the thought of breakfast was nauseating, and wandering the hallways alone was risky. He settled on taking the longest shower of his life, then slipping off to wait in the Transfiguration classroom as his roommates left for breakfast. He's not sure what to do about James and Peter; the situation isn't nearly as risky for them as it is for Sirius, but still, spending time with him won't do them any favors. James has enough gall and natural charisma to get through it fine, but Peter might become a target. Remus isn't even sure how their friendship will work without Sirius. If James chooses his best friend over Remus, it won't be surprising. And without James, things will go a hundred times harder for Peter.

No use dwelling on it. He pulled out his Transfiguration notes and forced himself to review them, although he spent a lot of time reading the same line over and over. Lily arrived before any of the Marauders, so he talked to her about last night's homework, carefully avoiding the eyes of his roommates when they enter. He wasn't sure if Sirius had told the others about their fight, but either way he didn't want to answer questions about his absence at breakfast.

He knew he couldn't avoid them for long – they all had Defense together the very next period. Remus stuck to Lily on their way over, and sat down next to her. James took the spot on his other side – Remus was amazed at his restraint at not taking the open seat next to Lily. He did grin horribly at her across Remus until she rolled her eyes and turned away to get her textbook out.

"You all right?" he asked Remus. "Missed you at breakfast."

"I'm fine," Remus replied. "Just wasn't feeling up to the crowd."

"Ok. Just – what were you and Sirius talking about last night?"

"He hasn't told you then?"

"We've barely talked today. We had a bit of a spat last night. He's been sulking since then."

"You had a fight with him? About what?"

"You go first."

"Not in here. Can we talk on the lawn after classes? Bring Peter too."

James nodded as Professor Maitland began the class.

Sirius spent the morning classes at a back desk, scowling thunderously. He snorted loudly when Professor Maitland drops his chalk, and halfway through Charms swore a blue streak and walked out. At lunch, he was simply not present. James stayed only long enough to wolf down a sandwich, and then disappeared as well. Remus and Peter ate in silence. Peter's misery at the discord among his friends was almost palpable. In silent agreement, the two boys finished their meals quickly and then headed to the library before afternoon classes started.

Remus walked to the grounds after classes, and sat by a tree on the lawn. He started the Arithmancy reading for Friday while he waited, wand by his side. James and Peter soon arrived.

"Did you find him at lunch?" Remus asked James.

James nodded. "He was trying to punch his way into the Slytherin common room. I'm not sure what he was trying to do – all the Slytherins were at lunch and if he wanted to sneak in he wasn't being remotely subtle. I eventually got him to come outside with me as Padfoot. I think he's still running around out in the forest now."

Remus felt a twinge of worry. But at least physically, Sirius would probably be ok, with the amount of time he'd spent in the forest since becoming an animagus.

"I guess he's upset from the fight with James last night," chipped in Peter.

"What did they fight about?" asked Remus.

"Sirius made some crack about how he wished you'd actually eaten Snape, and James got mad that he wasn't taken what had happened seriously."

"It's just that that's the sort of joke that led to him getting you into this in the first place," James explained. "And I guess I'm not much better, but he doesn't really seem to understand why what he did was wrong."

"I don't think he does," responded Remus. "I mean, he must know that what's happening now is bad, but I'm not sure he realizes how bad."

"I think he blames Snape instead of himself," added James. "Not that a lot of this isn't Snape's fault, the filthy git, but still…" He yanks up a clump of grass. "What happened between you and him?"

Remus hesitated. His first instinct was to keep it private, but he'd learned long ago that keeping secrets from his friends is nearly impossible, and not always as desirable as he thinks.

"His brother wanted to talk to me last night. He thinks their family will disown Sirius for being friends with a werewolf, and he asked me to get Sirius to stay away from me."

"The little shit!" spat James.

"He might be right though. You know as well as I do what their family's like. Maybe more, you've actually spent time with them. The way he's been defending me, you can't tell me you don't believe they might disown him."

James looked uncomfortable, then nodded slowly. Remus' heart sank – there went his faint hope that he might have overreacted.

"I told Sirius about it last night," Remus continued.

"Well that explains why he's so upset," said James. "He must be furious at his brother."

"I don't think that's the whole reason. When he didn't believe that he had to stay away from me, I—"

"Wait, what?!" James interrupted. "Don't tell me you actually asked him to do that."

"Of course I did."

"Are you an idiot?"

"I couldn't let him—"

"For fuck's sake Moony, did you really think he'd agree to that?"

"I had to try! It's for his own good."

"It's his decision, Remus. He's chosen you, all of us have."

"He doesn't understand what it means – he hasn't been without money for a second of his life. I won't let him do that to himself."

"Well good luck convincing him!"

"I have."

James sputtered. "What-? How?"

Remus swallowed. "I told him I didn't – I didn't forgive him for what he did. That I wanted him to stay away from me."

"But – you didn't say anything about that early," said Peter quietly. "You'd been acting normally around him."

"Because I do forgive him. How could I not, after everything he's done for me? Maybe I'm just too much of a coward to be angry, but – But I told him that because it was the only way to get him to protect himself."

He paused.

"Please don't tell him," he implored his friends. "We need to do this."

There was a long silence.

"Where does that leave me and James?" asked Peter. "Do we need to choose a side?"

"I don't know," Remus said miserably. "I don't know. I- I should say that you should stay away from me too, but I really can't. I don't think I could do this without any of you."

"Well you won't have to," declared James. "Peter and I aren't in the same kind of position Sirius is. And I don't see why we'd have to pick one of you. We're in pairs a lot in classes anyway – we can just do that at meals and stuff too, take turns I guess. But Remus…how could you tell him something like that? I thought you trusted us all more than that. Although I guess I can't blame you if you don't anymore."

"I trust that you don't want to hurt me, but not that you won't hurt yourselves."

Another silence, eventually broken by James.

"I won't tell him. If that's really what you want."

"It's necessary," said Remus softly. "Thank you. Peter?"

"I won't either."

Remus nodded. "Then let's head up to dinner."


	13. Chapter 13

Remus had barely sat down to dinner when Professor McGonagall tapped him on the shoulder.

"When you're finished eating, Remus, Professor Dumbledore would like to speak to you in his office," she said. "He enjoys Jelly Slugs."

Remus wasn't entirely surprised. It had only been a matter of time before the parents who wouldn't want him here did something Dumbledore would have to tell him about.

After eating quickly, he headed up towards the headmaster's office. He had been here often enough to understand the more cryptic part of McGonagall's message and gain access. Entering the office, he was startled to find his mother and father standing in front of Dumbledore's desk.

His mother hurried over to him as soon as he entered, and pulled him into a tight hug. Madeline Lupin was a tall, thin woman in her late thirties, hair pulled back into a loose ponytail.

"Are you all right, Remus?" she asked. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine," he replied. "It's been a few days."

"We were really worried about you, you usually write the day after the full moon. Why didn't you tell us sooner? We would have come right away. "

"I'm really sorry," Remus said. "With everything that's been going on, I completely forgot. I've had a lot to think about. But I should have written, I didn't mean for you to worry."

"I'm just glad you're not hurt anymore." He heard the slight catch in her voice, the one that happened every time she had to say _not hurt anymore_ instead of _healthy_.

"What I want to know is why _you_ didn't tell us," said his father, John, turning to Dumbledore. "We're his parents, you didn't think this was something we might want to know?"

"My apologies," the Headmaster replied. "I thought Remus would want to tell you himself."

"Well," said his mother, "in any case – you'll be coming home with us, Remus?"

"Actually, I'm going to try to stay here. Dumbledore's said he wants to let me stay, and that it might be possible."

"You really think that's likely?" his father asked Dumbledore. "There's no way the Ministry's going to allow it."

"Although I don't believe it's going to be easy, I see no reason to think they couldn't be convinced," Dumbledore replied.

"With all respect, I worked in the Ministry for years before, you know…" Remus flushed. "They'd never permit it."

"And with all respect, John, your particular branch of the Ministry may not have given you the most unbiased impression of their attitude towards the matter."

Remus' mother spoke again. "Are you really sure it's safe to stay here?"

"It has been so far," Remus answered. "A lot of people are upset, of course, but I still have my friends, and no one's tried to hurt me."

A flash of emotion passed across his mother's face, but she quickly controlled it. Remus knew that the situation probably didn't sound terribly safe to her, if "no one's tried to hurt me" was something that had to be said. But, although she was a Muggle, she'd been in the wizarding world long enough to know not to expect any better.

"Still," she said, "I know it can't be easy. You're welcome to come home if you decide you want to."

"Remus," his father cut in. "What exactly happened? Your letter didn't say much – how did someone get in?"

Remus told him how a friend of his had told a boy he hated how to enter the Shack, leaving both names out of the story. Dumbledore, keeping this anonymity, filled in details of his sparse narrative – how James had pulled Snape out, how Snape had run back to his dormitory and woken his roommates to tell them about his discovery.

"And how did this friend of yours know? Don't tell me you'd intentionally _told _someone about your condition."

Remus had never told his parents that his friends were aware of his lycanthropy, knowing his father would be horrified by the risk.

"He'd figured it out, in second year," he said. "He and two other friends. I never meant to tell anyone, but eventually they confronted me and I had to admit it."

"Remus, I thought you were smarter than that."

"I did everything I could to avoid it. By the time they talked to me, they were completely convinced – it was just a matter of getting me to say it. And it was fine, then – I can still barely believe it, but they accepted me."

"They did?...Well, look how well it worked out. You might have killed someone!" He turned back to Dumbledore. "We let him come here because you promised it was safe!"

"The danger came from other students' errors in judgment, not from Remus's actions or problems with the system that held him."

"Is the Ministry going to believe that?"

"I don't know. They're coming to speak to me on Monday. Remus, they'll probably want to talk to you as well."

Remus nodded. _Oh Merlin_.

"Are you sure you don't want to come home?" his mother asked again.

"I'm sure," he told her. "If there's a chance I can stay here, graduating from Hogwarts will make it that much less impossible that I'll ever find a job."

He saw his father restrain a snort. He knew John thought it was completely impossible that he'd get a job anyway. He couldn't blame his father for his pessimistic outlook though. John had worked in the Ministry's Werewolf Capture Unit until Remus was bitten. His only interactions with werewolves had been as criminals and dangers that he had to help stop, not as potential employees. He'd fought to overcome his prejudice once his son had been infected, but he still had a hard time believing that anyone else might view werewolves favorably.

"Well," his mother said, "if you change your mind, or need anything else, let us know. I just want you to be safe."

"May I speak to Remus privately for a moment?" John asked.

"Of course," said Dumbledore. "Ms. Lupin, you haven't been to Hogwarts before, have you? I can give you an extremely incomplete tour." She nodded and followed him out of the office.

Once they were gone, John turned to his son, an odd expression on his face. "Remus…" he said. "You know your mother and I both love you very much,"

"Of course I do," Remus answered.

"And I know we haven't always been close, especially since you've been away at school, but I want to make sure you know I couldn't have asked for a better son, and I wish things could have been different for you."

"I wish they could have been different too. I know it's been hard on you."

"What I wanted to talk to you about… As I'm sure you can tell, your mother's worried about you, and she wants you to come home. I just – I don't know if that would be the best idea."

"Like I said, I want to stay here, and I will if I possibly can," said Remus.

"I know. But even if – if you do have to leave school, I don't know if our home would be the best place for you. This is going to be public, any day now. And your mother and sister – I don't know if it's safe." Remus' sister Miranda, a year younger, attended a Muggle school.

"I'm not saying you can never come home," John continued, "just that if there's anywhere else you can go, consider that option first before you put them at risk. And you're almost of age…"

"I understand," said Remus as the office door opened and Dumbledore and Madeline entered.

"Good god," his mother was saying. "You've got something like that in your school and people are scared of my son?"

"Oh, the Baron can't harm anyone now…" replied Dumbledore. "I hope we're not returning too soon?"

"Not at all. We've just finished," said John. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you came here," Remus said to his parents. "I promise I'll be better about letting you know what's going on."

"I just want you to be careful," said Madeline, and John nodded in curt agreement.

"I'll do my best to protect him," said Dumbledore, and handed them the jar of Floo Powder.

Remus watched them go, and then returned to his dormitory. Only Sirius was there, and he left quickly when Remus entered. Remus felt a deep twinge of guilt, and then one of loneliness. He wished he could talk to his friend about what his father had asked of him.

He really wasn't sure what to make of it. His father was right, he supposed. He didn't want to expose his family to danger if the knowledge that they had a werewolf in their home became public. They'd taken steps before to prevent people finding out – Remus had begun using his mother's last name once he'd been bitten, so that any of his father's ex-colleagues he might encounter wouldn't connect him to John Arcene's son who'd been attacked. But it might not be enough.

It was even more vital now that he stay at Hogwarts– where else could he possibly go?


	14. Chapter 14

Remus woke the next morning to a note next to his bed. It was from Professor Maitland, reminding him of their agreed-upon meeting and asking him to come by at one if that was still convenient for him. Any time would have been – he had nothing planned that day but homework and avoiding people.

He showered, and found his roommates awake when he returned. He and Sirius carefully avoided each other's eyes.

"We're going down to breakfast," said James. "Come with?"

"I think I'll stay here," he replied. "I'm not too hungry yet."

"We'll bring you something back," Peter told him on their way out. Remus settled down to practicing for Transfiguration, distracted by wondering what Maitland might ask him, and what he might say in reply.

Forty-five minutes later, he found that Peter had been as good as his word. James and Sirius had gone off to Quidditch practice, but Peter and Frank came in with armfuls of pastry and a precariously balanced plate of bacon and eggs. He thanked them, and the three settled down to homework. He ventured down for a quick lunch with them a few hours later, and then walked to Professor Maitland's office.

The professor's door opened almost before he knocked.

"Remus!" Maitland said. "It's so good to see you! Come in!"

He put a hand on Remus' shoulder, pulled him forward, and guided him to a chair, talking all the while.

"Thank you for coming. I'm sorry again about the other day – I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Sit down, sit down! I have so many questions."

Remus managed to cut it. "Of course I'll answer your questions, but – um, there might be – I don't want to be rude, but there are some things I'd really prefer not to talk about. Is it ok if I tell you if there's something I'm not comfortable answering?"

"Of course," Maitland replied. "Anything you don't want to discuss – thank you for coming at all." He paused a moment.

"So," he said, "most of what I know about werewolves is second-hand – or even third, most people who deal directly aren't the type to write books. I've read _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_ of course, but it was hard to pick out the facts through the sentiment."

"Well _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_ is useless," said Remus. "It's not actually written by a werewolf."

"Really?"

"It would be a huge joke among werewolves if we weren't all so angry at it. It misrepresents the condition in a way that makes us seem much more dangerous than we are."

"Oh?"

"_I can feel the wolf pushing at my mind constantly, threatening to tear through the slender fabric of my consciousness. I fight with everything I have to control the beast – a constant distraction that pulls my energy from the desperate battle to connect with the humans around me. I live in terror that one day I'll surrender, allowing that monstrous mind to control my human form._"

"Impressive memory," said Maitland.

"I read that book when I was nine, and I spent months terrified that the wolf would take over my human body. I hadn't felt anything like that, but I thought it might start happening at any time. Eventually my father got me to say why I was so upset all the time, and told me to ask one of the older werewolves about it next time we went to the Ministry for registration. The one I asked nearly flipped a table when I mentioned the book. The author's a money-grubbing hack who's probably never spoken to a werewolf in his life – it's totally untrustworthy."

"I had no idea! It's usually passed around as the only first-hand account of lycanthropy."

"Well, the real thing is much less dramatic."

"So you don't feel the wolf in your mind at all?"

"Not most of the time. I get restless and irritable in the couple of days before a transformation. It's partially the wolf's mind coming forward, but it's mainly caused by the physical symptoms. It gets stronger as the moon gets closer – the day of I can feel it in my head as a separate entity. But it's a weak presence, and the boundary never comes anywhere close to breaking until the physical transformation starts."

"How close was the author about the transformations?"

Did he really want to talk about what his transformations were like? Not particularly, but he'd been through it all before with his friends.

"Actually, pretty good. He gets really, er, purple with his description of what it feels like, but it's nearly all accurate. I don't notice as many details as he describes, because after a little bit it's pretty much all just pain, but his bit on the transformations was a lot of why I thought he was genuine at first. The transformation back to human is completely made up though. The mind's the last thing to come back, so we never remember much of it."

"So he's not, er, exaggerating about how painful it is?"

"…no. He's not."

For almost first time since Remus had met him, Maitland was quiet. After a moment, he pulled himself together, and asked, "So what about silver? It's known to be harmful to transformed werewolves, but what about when you're human?"

"It's not harmful. I can touch it with no problems."

"And aconite?"

"It's poisonous to everyone. I'm not sure if it's worse for werewolves. I was fine when I used it in potions, but I've only touched it dried, so that might be different than the fresh plant."

He and Maitland talked for another half hour – about what he remembered from the periods of transformation, about how long he'd been a werewolf and how the transformations had changed over time, about how he'd been treated at the Ministry. Remus drew the line at talking in detail about receiving the bite, and again when the professor asked to see his scars from the attack.

Maitland said that he planned to add some of what Remus had told him into the curriculum. The unit really just covered how to defend against a transformed werewolf, and how to distinguish it from a regular wolf. Maitland wanted to also discuss what it was like to be a werewolf, with an emphasis on how fully human they were when not transformed. It was gratifying to hear, although Remus wasn't sure how much good it would do against years of cultural prejudice.

Maitland thanked him profusely, and Remus walked out of the office fairly pleased with how things had gone. Talking about his condition was never fun, but it was something he had to get used to, and some good might come from this.

He stopped by the Owlery, and sent a brief and optimistic note to his parents, mentioning his talk with Maitland. Guilty about not telling them about the situation sooner, he was determined to keep in very regular touch. And if the note was a little more cheerful than he felt, what was the harm in that?

He considered going to the library to work, but didn't feel quite comfortable doing so alone. He'd go back to the dormitory instead. The hallways had been nearly empty on his way to the Owlery from Maitland's office – he'd only passed a few students, all on their own. Hopefully that luck would hold.

Unfortunately, after a couple flights of stairs and a hallway, he ran into one of the last people he wanted to see – Severus Snape. He'd barely seen Snape since the full moon, but that wasn't surprising. They only had one class together, and he could hardly blame the other boy for avoiding him.

It seemed that it had been deliberate avoidance, for Severus looked terrified. "You!" he spat. "Stay away from me!" He pulled out his wand, and started to edge past Remus, staying as far across the hallway as he could.

"I'm sorry," said Remus helplessly. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Don't give me that bullshit. You and Black wanted to kill me, or it was all to make Potter look like some big hero. How long were you planning it for?"

"That not true. It wasn't planned, I had no idea, Sirius just lost his temper –"

"He tried to kill me! You almost _ate _me! You all think you're so great, Dumbledore just loves you, but now everyone knows what a monster you are. I'll listen to you apologize once the Ministry's got you locked up, or maybe when the date's set to have you put down." Severus' hands were shaking. He'd been moving past Remus as he spoke; he now spun around and ran off down the hall.

Remus leaned against the wall for a minute and collected himself. He hurried back to the dormitory, carefully sticking to less-used passageways, any good cheer he'd gained from the meeting with Maitland utterly gone.


	15. Chapter 15

The rest of the day passed quietly. He worked in his room, and slipped down for a late dinner with James and Peter, giving them a heavily abridged version of his meeting with Maitland and encounter with Snape.

James was fumingly indignant about what Snape had said, even through Remus' somewhat softened telling. He'd taken Remus' plea not to start trouble to heart, enough that it was unlikely that he'd attack Severus next time they met, but Remus suspected that the Slytherin boy would have some uncomfortable surprises in the next few days. But that was nothing new, and James had gotten good at being subtle.

He pleaded out of breakfast again the next morning, so James and Peter brought food back and ate with him. He set at his homework, trying to ignore Sirius still asleep, blankets pulled over his head. Sirius didn't wake for a long time, and when he did he grabbed an armful of clothes, slouched off to the bathroom, and didn't come back.

By two, Remus had finished his work up to Wednesday, and was beginning to grow restless. He jumped between Transfiguration practice and a Potions essay for Friday, not making much progress with either. James and Peter had been in and out, but had been with him for the last hour, and it was clear that his antsiness was rubbing off.

"Let's go down to the common room," said James suddenly. "None of us are getting anything done, we should take a break."

"I really don't think that's a good idea," said Remus. "Couldn't we take a break in here?"

"You've got to go down there sometime," James answered. "Can't avoid most of your house forever. And you've been in this room all day, it's not good for you."

Remus had to agree. This was the second day in a row he'd spent mostly in the dormitory, and he was starting to hate it in here. Anyway, he could always head back up if things went badly, or go over to the library or something.

When the three boys entered the common room, they were greeted with the usual bevy of nervous stares that followed Remus every time he passed through. The atmosphere tensed as the students realized that he was headed for an open couch instead of the portrait out.

"I can't do this," he whispered to James. "Let's go outside. Hang out on the grounds."

"Remus, it's pouring outside," James hissed back. "Are you going to sit on that couch, or do Peter and I need to bring it over to you? Because we will, and if you want to avoid attention that's not the way to do it."

Remus laughed quietly, and forced himself to look around the now quiet room. He walked to the couch and sat down, James and Peter on either side of him.

_I need to say something_, he thought._ I need to relax the situation before someone challenges me_. _Oh god they're all looking at me._

"If I can silence a room this easily," he said, forcing a smile, "maybe I should start hiring myself out to the professors."

A few students laughed. Most looked vaguely sheepish and started to go back to what they had been doing. Remus was about to relax – had it really been that easy? – when Anthony Morris stood up.

"What are you trying to pull?" he asked.

"He's trying to sit in his common room," said James angrily.

"Look, going to classes and sleeping in the dorm he almost has an excuse. Now he's just trying to make people uncomfortable. Someone has to say it – nobody wants a werewolf in here."

James opened his mouth to reply, but Remus cut him off.  
"I'll go," he said quickly. "I don't want to bother anyone." _What had he been thinking, coming in here? As if anything but this could have happened. He was just hurting his chances of staying at Hogwarts by forcing himself on people like this._

"Really, Remus?" said James, exasperated. "Stick up for yourself a little." He turned back to Anthony. "He's a student and a Gryffindor, he's got as much right as any of us to be in here."

"Most of you have known me for years," Remus added, addressing the room. "I'm not a different person now, and I don't want to hurt anyone."

"There are kids in here," Anthony snapped. "You're a werewolf in a room with a bunch of eleven year olds, don't try to tell me that's safe." This had an effect on the other students; Remus could see some of the younger ones cringing.

To Remus' surprise, Lily Evans stood up from where she'd been sitting with her friends near the fireplace.

"Why don't you shut up, Anthony?!" she said. "Like Remus said, you all know him. Has he ever been anything but kind?"

"You!" She pointed at a particularly nervous looking first year. "I've seen him tutoring you all the time. Do you really think he wants to hurt you?"

The boy reluctantly shook his head.

"Well." Lily continued. "If anyone but Morris has something to say, do it now. Let's get this nonsense finished up." Nobody spoke. She gave Anthony a hard look.

"If you're all too scared to admit you don't want to be in here with that _thing_, I want no part of it," Anthony spat. He threw his books into his bag and stalked out of the room. A few other students followed him, much more abashedly.

After a moment of silence, Remus, James, and Lily sat down. The room slowly returned to its previous activity. A few students still looked nervous, but no one else bothered him.

Remus and Peter played a game of Exploding Snap, while James fidgeted with a book on Quidditch, spending much more time looking over at Lily Evans than reading. After about 20 minutes, when the atmosphere in the room was nearly back to normal, he walked over to her.

"What are you after?" Lily asked, looking up from where she sat with her friends.

"I just wanted to say thanks," James said. "For defending Remus like that."

Her face softened. "Of course I did. It's so ridiculous how people react. … But you too – you're a good friend."

He grinned sheepishly. "Did I hear you right, Evans? Was that praise?"

"Don't get too used to it," she said, smiling back.

"But does this mean you'll go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" he asked.

"…I'll think about it," she said. "Ask me again on Tuesday."

"…wait, really?"

"Yes, I'll really think about it," she said with another small smile. "Now head off so I can deal with this nonsense here." She waved a hand at her friends, who had begun giggling furiously.

"Right…ok, I'll do that," James managed, and headed back to where Peter and Remus were sitting. Remus put the cards away as James began to recount at length and rather incoherently his interaction with Lily.


End file.
